Taichung Funeral Day 6 (send off)

Today I had shaobin youtiao for breakfast.

On the way to the venue I passed a bush that was flowering and it smelt so fragrant... kinda like jasmine. 

告別式 send off ceremony starts at 1pm today, so I just snoozed and then dad went to buy early lunch bentou. Typhoon holiday today too but the typhoon isn't really touching Taichung. Buddha will organise!

After lunch we headed to the funeral home and got dressed in 孝服，basically black kung fu robe, and 孝，the armband.

I thought we would have more time to look at 奶奶... But the ceremony was long and most of it was bowing and praying to her portrait. We filed in behind the big set up and had the eldest son (dad) feed grandma her last meal. And the staff placed red packets (inheritance) from her hand to place into a big pot. We got to place paper lotuses in her coffin.

After that at some point dad, as representative, gave out the red packets手尾錢 from the pot to each person, and said a well wish. Bro's was 「事業順利」and mine was 「平安健康」or something along those lines.

The first part of the ceremony was for family and relatives. The second part was for organisations. A curious one was local MPs would come to pay respects, and then those from 四叔's work relations/companies also came too, to give their respects. Third part was for friends and others. A lot of grandma' s old neighbours from the 眷村 came, I don't recognise them.

I saw some of the members washing their hands in this little sink after they paid their respects and were leaving. I guess it's similar to the Māori custom too.

Once the three parts concluded (the friends and others, organisations left after their part was done), it was the ceremony to close the lid on the coffin. Grandma was all made up with some foundation and lipliner. She looked skinnier than the last time I saw her. I think it may be because of the natural decaying process. The monk and their crew (two ladies today) went around the coffin thrice with the uncles, while praying. Then all of us placed our hands on the cloth lining of the coffin. And then pushed the cloth inside after reciting some words. Then we bowed our heads while they placed the lid on (so I didn't see), and then the gentlemonk performed the sealing with a golden axe, tapping each corner of the coffin in diagonal order. A single nail was placed at the head centre edge of the coffin and that was the last one to be tapped. They placed a cloth over it next and dad, as the eldest son, pulled the nail out with his teeth. This is a traditional custom to signify the continuation of the family line? Then grandma got on the car and we followed by foot to the entrance of the funeral home, and then onto a shuttle bus to go to the cremation centre. I feel asleep on the small bus, but woke up just as the shuttle bus entered the cremation grounds. I remember thinking very clearly, 奶奶叫我起來了。

The shuttle bus we took

After disembarking the bus, we filed in procession to the cremation gate. Shouted words at grandma, told her not to worry and follow Buddha. Then went to the Buddha statue/altar next door and asked Buddha to guide her and thanked Buddha for doing so.

Another family was coming out and had to wait (they were fully masked! In surgical but still) since our processions blocked the hallway a bit. Sorry. They placed the banner that has been tied to the bamboo sprig all this time onto the coffin, her soul plaque, and some other offerings.

Rest time while we wait for grandma's turn to go into the door. We just sat outside. The weather was windy but there's no rain, maybe a few spits. Blessed by Buddha.

After rest time we filed back into the cremation gate, and saw grandma get pushed into the fire (no. 7 gate). Then went to the 地藏王 Buddha altar next door to thank and ask Buddha to take 奶奶 away.

Then we could take our 孝服 off. Onto the shuttle bus we go. Back to grandma's house. But once ee got dropped off we were advised we couldn't go home straight away but had to go somewhere first before going home. So I headed to a new 7-11 with 小智，小伯，四嬸，and I ended up buying a Doraemon shaped cake for $30. 四嬸 paid... 

Then we got a call to come home. I spotted a row of 眷村 house at the 巷口!! I didn't get a chance to walk down... I want to next time I get to visit grandma. And the sun was setting. We walked past a couple of old houses and I asked if they were 眷村 housing, 小智 said it's probably for generals, and that they come here to vote for the local council rep/MP so it must be a public place of the govt. 

Food stall in front of an alley...

General's housing

Genera's housing (both sides of the road)

The alleyway with the 眷村 housing. I must come back here to explore properly next time!

By the time we got upstairs they had already started to move grandma into her seat. One of the lady crew did the prayers, I think Mr Monk was there too? We came in in a hurry. 

Grandma is now on her own table next to the ancestor altar. Some relatives went back to the funeral home to get their cara/scooters. 五叔's family had arranged for bentous to be delivered. We all ate dinner. I could feel grandma was sitting in her chair. Some of the grandsons went down with the uncles to burn paper money but I was still halfway eating. After I finished I went down fast to ask them to leave some for me. I never get to burn any! They had already burnt the ancestor lot but not for grandma. So we did that. Paper money, and some ingots, and $1000 notes. I mostly burnt paper money. 三叔 burnt the ingots. We called out to 奶奶 and asked her to come 請來領收 pick it up. The way 三叔 called out, sounded like a child... I know he has a hard time adjuatpinfg after retirement and socially confined himself, along with his own sense/view of truth from what the uncles were saying. Maybe it's from that. He's also lost a lot of weight, and carries himself by withdrawing his limbs inside himself...

Anyway, 小伯，賢俊（？）(gosh I can't tell the brothers apart I'm terrible), 二叔，三叔，五叔，dad and a neighbour from downstairs burnt some. I burnt some for bro. Made sure not to block the door drawn on the ground whilst doing so. The neighbour chatted to dad and 五叔. 二叔 commented on how the smoke spiralled up pretty into the air. After finished burning, everyone else went upstairs to eat dinner and 五叔 watched the fire. I stayed with grandma for a bit. 

I talked with the neighbour for a wee bit, answered questions after dad talked to him. Then got told to go up as grandma went back up after the paper finished burning. 

When I went back up 三叔 was sitting in grandma's seat eating dinner... Uh... Rude... Grandma would probably let him sit but I couldn't feel her there any more even after he left the seat when he finished. So I sat in front of her altar and I felt like she was sitting there instead. The cats came out for a bit and hid. People chatted. I found out 小安 likes Seventeen and is into kpop. 小智 likes Any colour? A vocaloid idol group? I can't remember. He collects their albums. We talked about the cats. 虎妞 sucks at covering up their poop and she always poos when people are eating at meal time lol. 五嬸 told me that grandma would ask her to move aside and let her scoop up her poop, which is why she sucks lol. 

The old CRT TV with the cloth on top is still here... please never get rid of this.

小安 was waiting for the announcement at 8pm to see if there's a typhoon holiday tomorrow. No luck. She has to take the HSR back to Taipei for work tomorrow. Welp. 小伯 has to go back too but he might be able to catch a ride with a friend. I don't know when the next time I can see them is. I said bye to them.

Not long after we left too. Said bye to 奶奶 at the altar and the ancestors too.

So exhausted. Had some tea, showered, blogged, hung the laundry out, and finishing the blog now so I can sleep. It's 12am. 

Taichung Funeral Day 5

 Breakfast was shuijianbao again. Typhoon holiday today, but it's still taking its sweet time walking towards Taiwan at a literal walking pace... 6-8km/h. But it's bringing a cool down effect, and the breeze is actually not warm for once. Phew. A few spits here and there.

A nice big tree and seats under next to the alter room building, where we gathered and waited for Shao Zhóng & staff to come get us to go to the Funeral Home grounds

Today we start at 9am and it's a full day of prayer. Instead of the neighbouring building where we had the altar room, it's at the funeral home, in one of their halls. It's been decorated with cloth and a full set up with Buddha portraits and framing, and two 門神？ on the left and right.

Today's crew consists of 4 ladies and 1 gentlemonk. From morning to 5pm, with a break at 10:20-10:45am, lunch 12:30pm - 2pm, and afternoon break at around 3pm, it was full prayer of 1 mantra book. Grandma kept smiling from the portrait but at one point it seemed like she was smiling bittersweetly. I wonder if she 2as worrying about 三叔 and his relations with the rest of the brothers, arguing and what not.

At lunch I took a walk around the block. I spotted about 9 dragonflies just hanging about outside the funeral home grounds. 

Dragonflies video... unsure if it will upload properly.

Skate park

A local miao

Saw a moped with a cute/funny cover haha

They offered a paper house (like a mansion), fully furnished with a butler and housekeeper and pet dog, car, scooter, and bike, and some ingots and silver. Along with the usual lotuses and yuanbao, paper money. They brought the burning forwards to after lunch break because of the typhoon. The house is part of the package offered by the Funeral Home. 

I could help but keep helping asleep during recital... Not sure if it's because I was already sleep deprived or the usual sleepiness that comes when I try to participate in mantra reading. I did my best though. 

In the afternoon they offered 6 tables of daily staples, and moved 奶奶 soul plaque 靈派 out there as well as the family ancestor plaque. A plaque for a specific Buddha was also outside. It's quite windy now. They use an umbrella to cover and escorts the soul plaque, cause the deceased is afraid of (natural) light. 

The 6 tables of offerings

Afterwards the last part was a prayer offered by the crew, and involved throwing of snacks, rice, and $1 coins. The rice will be eaten by the birds later. The snacks were gathered and I assume donated to the needy/food bank. The coins were split amongst the uncles and eldest grandsons. 

The crew has really good teamwork. When the lead monk had a break in singing, the other ladies would help cover. 

After that we went home. 

Mum and dad grabbed bentous and I waited in the car. 

After dinner I popped over to DAISO. They had oshikatsu goods, but I couldn't find the zipper pouch bags... And realised I forgot the shoe glue. 

Let's see what the typhoon does tomorrow. I believe Buddha will help organise everything to go smoothly. 

Taichung Funeral Day 4

 Dad bought shuijianbao for breakfast. Dayum it good, the cabbage ain't raw tasting and he dough is nice and chewy.

After breakfast we got ready to go to the memorial hall/altar. We got there early, so I folded enough yuan bao (10 more) to make up 100 from the ones I folded last night. 

Today we did a man-chi (full one) as the last prayer session for grandma. It's focused on the males sons and grandsons. They included 2 baodai and the usual paper money, yuanbao, and 18 lotuses. We also wore the jute armbands again today, and swapped to the jute bows after the prayer session.

After the prayer was done I got to follow dad, shyan-an, ah-jun, shyan-bo, shyan-ji, to the Funeral home burner across the road and offered the treasures. I got to throw 1 lotus in personally, the rest was done by the Funeral Home staff.

Once done we asked grandma to come back with us (follow the incense) back to the altar room. We are now finised with the man-chi, and I sat down to continue to fold lotuses. 五嬸 helped too.  I flipped them and some petals ripped in the process... ahhhhh..... had to re-flip and replace the petals. Then 五嬸 went to get lunch and we ate. The soup was nicer today, just plain light soup.

After that we continued to flip and fold, since we need 18 lotuses (multiples of 9).

Seems like 三叔 has some beef with the rest of the brothers and he's really stubborn and remembers a lot of old hate... and flipped the lid on it today with something about how 奶奶 doesn't like 表姨媽 and why you contact her family... but he was the first one to post publicly about it on FB.... dad got angry cause it's unreasonable to do that when someone has passed. Let bygones be bygones. 

Not much else, just a lot of folding, spending time with 奶奶 and talking. 五叔's ball buddy came to visit and brang a white envelope. Because 奶奶 is 高寿 it's a happy occassion and the envelope was swapped to a red one and returned to the offerer. 

At this point, there's only so much I can do covid wise. It's way too hot to have the window open. And my face has started to get sweat rashes so it's not ideal to mask all the time.... spray and pray...

We have to vacate the room today so took all personal belongings with us. Took some more yuanbao paper home to fold.

二叔 dropped us off and we got changed (to wash teh black shirts) and went to buy dinner.

一心臭豆腐 is open today and they're veggo, so I went to buy the tofu and noodles. 二叔 also wanted one too. Mum and dad went to get the usual vege buffet bentous.

Tbe tofus actually come with a fair amount of pickles... I thought they didn't so bought an extra plate of pickles.... even though I asked for mild chilli it's actually quite hot... wow.... their thin noodles is quite nice too. Peppery spicy already so doesn't need the chilli.

After dinner we just had tea, showered, and I continued to fold the yuanbao.

Before bed the Hitachi A/C unit in my room flashed error code 60 and didn't want to work. Turns out something to do with the rotation motor has a problem. Dad checked the pre-filter, it's quite clean. 二叔 tried turning off the mains switch and on again, and that fixed it.

Then 二叔 put my itinerary schedule on his calendar before bed. Seems like cuz Joy will be back when I return from huandao and our dates will overlap.


Early start tomorrow. It's a full day prayer session from 8am to 5pm, at the main Funeral home. On Thurs we see 奶奶 off for cremation.