Today I had shaobin youtiao for breakfast.
On the way to the venue I passed a bush that was flowering and it smelt so fragrant... kinda like jasmine.
告別式 send off ceremony starts at 1pm today, so I just snoozed and then dad went to buy early lunch bentou. Typhoon holiday today too but the typhoon isn't really touching Taichung. Buddha will organise!
After lunch we headed to the funeral home and got dressed in 孝服，basically black kung fu robe, and 孝，the armband.
I thought we would have more time to look at 奶奶... But the ceremony was long and most of it was bowing and praying to her portrait. We filed in behind the big set up and had the eldest son (dad) feed grandma her last meal. And the staff placed red packets (inheritance) from her hand to place into a big pot. We got to place paper lotuses in her coffin.
After that at some point dad, as representative, gave out the red packets手尾錢 from the pot to each person, and said a well wish. Bro's was 「事業順利」and mine was 「平安健康」or something along those lines.
The first part of the ceremony was for family and relatives. The second part was for organisations. A curious one was local MPs would come to pay respects, and then those from 四叔's work relations/companies also came too, to give their respects. Third part was for friends and others. A lot of grandma' s old neighbours from the 眷村 came, I don't recognise them.
I saw some of the members washing their hands in this little sink after they paid their respects and were leaving. I guess it's similar to the Māori custom too.
Once the three parts concluded (the friends and others, organisations left after their part was done), it was the ceremony to close the lid on the coffin. Grandma was all made up with some foundation and lipliner. She looked skinnier than the last time I saw her. I think it may be because of the natural decaying process. The monk and their crew (two ladies today) went around the coffin thrice with the uncles, while praying. Then all of us placed our hands on the cloth lining of the coffin. And then pushed the cloth inside after reciting some words. Then we bowed our heads while they placed the lid on (so I didn't see), and then the gentlemonk performed the sealing with a golden axe, tapping each corner of the coffin in diagonal order. A single nail was placed at the head centre edge of the coffin and that was the last one to be tapped. They placed a cloth over it next and dad, as the eldest son, pulled the nail out with his teeth. This is a traditional custom to signify the continuation of the family line? Then grandma got on the car and we followed by foot to the entrance of the funeral home, and then onto a shuttle bus to go to the cremation centre. I feel asleep on the small bus, but woke up just as the shuttle bus entered the cremation grounds. I remember thinking very clearly, 奶奶叫我起來了。
 |
| The shuttle bus we took |
Another family was coming out and had to wait (they were fully masked! In surgical but still) since our processions blocked the hallway a bit. Sorry. They placed the banner that has been tied to the bamboo sprig all this time onto the coffin, her soul plaque, and some other offerings.
Rest time while we wait for grandma's turn to go into the door. We just sat outside. The weather was windy but there's no rain, maybe a few spits. Blessed by Buddha.
After rest time we filed back into the cremation gate, and saw grandma get pushed into the fire (no. 7 gate). Then went to the 地藏王 Buddha altar next door to thank and ask Buddha to take 奶奶 away.
Then we could take our 孝服 off. Onto the shuttle bus we go. Back to grandma's house. But once ee got dropped off we were advised we couldn't go home straight away but had to go somewhere first before going home. So I headed to a new 7-11 with 小智，小伯，四嬸，and I ended up buying a Doraemon shaped cake for $30. 四嬸 paid...
Then we got a call to come home. I spotted a row of 眷村 house at the 巷口!! I didn't get a chance to walk down... I want to next time I get to visit grandma. And the sun was setting. We walked past a couple of old houses and I asked if they were 眷村 housing, 小智 said it's probably for generals, and that they come here to vote for the local council rep/MP so it must be a public place of the govt.
 |
| Food stall in front of an alley... |
 |
| General's housing |
 |
| Genera's housing (both sides of the road) |
 |
| The alleyway with the 眷村 housing. I must come back here to explore properly next time! |
By the time we got upstairs they had already started to move grandma into her seat. One of the lady crew did the prayers, I think Mr Monk was there too? We came in in a hurry.
Grandma is now on her own table next to the ancestor altar. Some relatives went back to the funeral home to get their cara/scooters. 五叔's family had arranged for bentous to be delivered. We all ate dinner. I could feel grandma was sitting in her chair. Some of the grandsons went down with the uncles to burn paper money but I was still halfway eating. After I finished I went down fast to ask them to leave some for me. I never get to burn any! They had already burnt the ancestor lot but not for grandma. So we did that. Paper money, and some ingots, and $1000 notes. I mostly burnt paper money. 三叔 burnt the ingots. We called out to 奶奶 and asked her to come 請來領收 pick it up. The way 三叔 called out, sounded like a child... I know he has a hard time adjuatpinfg after retirement and socially confined himself, along with his own sense/view of truth from what the uncles were saying. Maybe it's from that. He's also lost a lot of weight, and carries himself by withdrawing his limbs inside himself...
Anyway, 小伯，賢俊（？）(gosh I can't tell the brothers apart I'm terrible), 二叔，三叔，五叔，dad and a neighbour from downstairs burnt some. I burnt some for bro. Made sure not to block the door drawn on the ground whilst doing so. The neighbour chatted to dad and 五叔. 二叔 commented on how the smoke spiralled up pretty into the air. After finished burning, everyone else went upstairs to eat dinner and 五叔 watched the fire. I stayed with grandma for a bit.
I talked with the neighbour for a wee bit, answered questions after dad talked to him. Then got told to go up as grandma went back up after the paper finished burning.
When I went back up 三叔 was sitting in grandma's seat eating dinner... Uh... Rude... Grandma would probably let him sit but I couldn't feel her there any more even after he left the seat when he finished. So I sat in front of her altar and I felt like she was sitting there instead. The cats came out for a bit and hid. People chatted. I found out 小安 likes Seventeen and is into kpop. 小智 likes Any colour? A vocaloid idol group? I can't remember. He collects their albums. We talked about the cats. 虎妞 sucks at covering up their poop and she always poos when people are eating at meal time lol. 五嬸 told me that grandma would ask her to move aside and let her scoop up her poop, which is why she sucks lol.
The old CRT TV with the cloth on top is still here... please never get rid of this.
小安 was waiting for the announcement at 8pm to see if there's a typhoon holiday tomorrow. No luck. She has to take the HSR back to Taipei for work tomorrow. Welp. 小伯 has to go back too but he might be able to catch a ride with a friend. I don't know when the next time I can see them is. I said bye to them.
Not long after we left too. Said bye to 奶奶 at the altar and the ancestors too.
So exhausted. Had some tea, showered, blogged, hung the laundry out, and finishing the blog now so I can sleep. It's 12am.
No comments:
Post a Comment